Inextricably Linked

1.8 billion muslims, for the most part non violent. For the most part. But the violent ones are not really muslims in the true sense. The only violence required by any religion is in how we apply its principles rigorously to transforming ourselves into better human beings. 126 years ago, in Chicago, Swami Vivekananda said

“They have filled the earth with violence, drenched it often and often with human blood, destroyed civilization and sent whole nations to despair. Had it not been for these horrible demons, human society would be far more advanced than it is now. But their time is come; and I fervently hope that the bell that tolled this morning in honor of this convention may be the death-knell of all fanaticism, of all persecutions with the sword or with the pen, and of all uncharitable feelings between persons wending their way to the same goal.”

He was rather optimistic… but is his a gift of choice – which side do we choose to be on? Obviously not that of the fanatic. But for a man who doesn’t believe in the death sentence, can there be a path of love that’s reformative? That other powerful word which was MK Gandhi’s gift to humanity – ahimsa or non violence. How can I firmly, sternly and with love, help a brother put aside his mad ideas and mad ways? That no one religion or race is superior, that we must indeed “condemn the sin, not the sinner”.

Condemning the sin is important here and requires thinking through. Did 19 muslims take down the twin towers or was it 19 tormented souls that had been brainwashed a certain way by seeming “religious leaders”? Islam was only the tool or vocabulary being used to incite these “fanatics” to genocide.

I got into trouble last year during the pulwama attacks for suggesting we should mourn every Pakistani soldier lost since 1971. In principle this is true. Who are we that Indian soldiers only have families or comrades? War does not determine whose right or wrong, only whose left. And it’s to be hated in every form because it only brings out the worst in us.

So let’s not think of battles that reduce men to animals, so easy to begin and then impossible to end!

Let’s conquer our own ability to be polarized by the media, a media that rarely shows character, instead sensationalizing everything. Find someone you have fought with in the past and overcome that Ill feeling. Write letters to people “across the border”

I prefer to align myself to the hymn “make me a channel of your peace, where there is hatred let me bring your love, where there is injury your pardon lord, and where there’s doubt true faith in you”.

Its 52 years since the Beatles sang “all you need is love” and nearly 2 decades since Savage Garden said “forgiveness is the key to your own happiness”. So who did you forgive today? And what bridges are you building?

Remember, we are all wending our way to the same goal!

Dear Modern Religious Critic

Dear Modern Religious Critic,

While it is true that more people have been killed in the name of religion, it is also true that the true spirit of God maintains a living positive influence on our hearts.

Call the Divine what you will but there is certainly a force of Nature that exists beyond our minuscule understanding of the universe, ourselves and society.

Some say God, some exalt science and some say nature spirit or cosmic play.

I am here to help integrate all religions of the world, they are classified into:

I am here to tell you there is a pagan, an atheist and a believer in each of you.

When you realise that there needs be reform in religion and something more than a dogmatic spaghetti mess, the atheist in you speaks, trying to “crush these soiled card houses”.

When you see the multiplication of Gods in Hinduism, you wonder if they are polytheistic but then realise they submit to only one Brahman that transcends all. Brahman, not Brahma of the Trinity.

The pantheon of Greeks seems also confusing until you realise that there are indeed governing powers beyond this simple Earthly plane. When you read Tolkien’s creation myth (, you realise the confusing word GOD is used in multiple places to mean multiple things.

The Nihilistic buddhism only means God in the infinite sense. And for those who think buddhism is atheism, do remember that in Vedic Times, atheists were a well known and accepted part of society.

Pagans give obeisance to the natural forces, associating spirits or gods and goddesses with them.

I still fail to see what all the fuss or fighting is about? We live in a new age of enlightenment and need to STOP allowing dogma to divide us.

Its history that says remember the bad acts of the past and dogma and personal tastes that is used to drive the wedge of “religious differences”. No one religion, when understood correctly says to do bad, they only say, contemplate and let your conscience be your guide.

I began this essay talking of how sullied the word God has become because of constant association with violence and bloodshed. That’s extremist people who use a particular religion to suit their needs.

I believe we should rekindle in our collective minds the beauty of each religion in an attempt to throw away the hangovers of the past and BECOME AS ONE collective!


Gene, Imran 2nd June 2019, Shanti Dham, Sangam

70% of our DNA comes from the preceding 3 generations.

For me, Imran Ali Namazi, thats
MMJ Namazi, Father
Zahara Begum Namazi, Grandmother
Mirza Ismail Namazi, Grandfather
Uma Melarkode Sivaraman
Vasantha Sivaraman
Melarkode Subramaniam Sivaraman
and 1 Generation above – so 8 more people, thats 14 people in all, my pitru

I believe both my mother’s grandfathers were principals in schools. My grandmother’s father taught English to his daughter Vasantha who matriculated in Malayalam circa 1946, was married that same year and gave birth to my Uncle Subramaniam the next year. He was one of those special children born in the year India won her independance, carrying the hopes of a country proudly and valiantly forward. His golden days were short for he was shot down in his early 40s and has spent the last 30 years the shell of a man. What do we really know about the sum of a body’s life or have we tasted it to it’s dregs?

MS Sivaraman, or Sivam for short was almost the perfect human being. Even when he threw clocks at a glass cupboard. He would feed his wife and 5 children after a long day at work to make sure food didn’t go to waste. It’s a pity his children did. Waste most of their life, their talents, their potential and their education. His favourite child of 5 was my mother Uma, ibne Sivam. She was the most timid and strong of all their children. My grandmother lived a full joyous life and at 86 was still trying to get a break making cards to support her children. How many heroes and heroines have been produced from among parents? Or are they ALL heroes. I look forward to seeing the kind of man, husband and father my cousin V Advaith Shivram is going to make – his mother the most hardworking of my 10 closest family members. Save my dad. Hes the real superman in my family. Denied full emotional development at the ge of 12 when he lost the beacon in his life, my Grandfather Mirza Ismail Namazi.

My sister and I were lucky to have 2 fathers and 2 mothers. I mean my mothers 2 siblings Rani and Venka. Rani who married my Reiki Guru and Venka whose son Advaith is the kid I’m gonna look after. He and my sister’s daughter Inara – the two born but 5 years apart.

So yes, I don’t come with a lot of emotional baggage, I come from a family who has shown time and again what love can conquer. What the power of freethinking can yield and what unconditional love can do to foster children. They’ve all had hard burdens to face buts its burdens as build character and shows us what stern stuff we’re made of.

Venka it was who told me how high his dad set the “being a good father” yardstick. A challenge I’m prepared to accept as I try and raise my own “children of the kingdom”. I stand here today, the sum of all the hard won experience that is my family – Uma, Shayesteh, Laila, Vichu, Rani, Venka, Manna, Vasantha, Venu, Bhuvana, Advaith and Inara. I also have 3 brothers by love – Ben, Arvind and Aneesh. And hope earnestly to soon meet the girl I’m going to marry.

There Vichu stands, the man whose mystery I may unravel some day, who saw the best in me and gave me always his best. Who just thinking about causes me uncontrollable tears. Who stood ready to shoot down a Cheetah for killing his favourite monkey at age 15. Whose lived the least of this family I love so much, but whose knowledge is so vast, it dwarfs even my writer’s skill and adroitness. He once told me about the two men who met on the stairs. The youngster thought wow, here I am on the same level as my Guru, but the other scoffed and said fool, one of us is going up, the other climbing back down from the top. What summits you’ve reached with that brilliant mind of yours, only God can fathom!

How I wish 6 years ago I had the coolth and smartness to keep this family from tottering on the brink. It was afterall a childhood dream to see us all united again. Once I spent an entire hour visualizing how in the smallest detail, one February afternoon in Pondicherry in 2011. But it wasn’t mean to be, and now the fashion of the world is changed and my grandmother is no more [1 month after writing this, I would lose my father too]. The woman that set the bar in loving her family unconditionally. Who guides gently from behind the veil where she is united once again with the husband she knew 42 years before. Silly girl, I kept telling her he would have taken birth again, waiting to see her in the next life. Maybe I’m the fool and they were never partned.

Anyway, in their memory, I live on. At the crossroads in my life, waiting for that little bit of Magique to come along and save the day. I am after all the most precious element in this entire equation. Just like my sister Laila is the darlingest. Don’t worry, we will all raise Children of the Kingdom, just as it were meant to be.

Just like Aneesh is my brother by his father the late PJ Naidu, I have too another wellwisher and brother in Dr Mahdi, son of my teacher Mir Momin Ali. Arvind and Ben, I love you too.

Leaving us with the 5 year old who proves to us daily that the anachronisms sometimes win – my father. Tolkien says, reconciliation with the father is one of the defining moments in a body’s life. I’d like to think I crossed that stage today as I reached to the future and saw my own children mirrored in his image. That unrelenting faith, honesty and simplicity that makes him the superman in my life.

Somewhere in all this, I’d like to give thanks to Chalam and Usha for being there at critical moments in my life. It’s good to know someone’s got my back, with fresh perspective.

Thank you for listening patiently to the tale of my family.

I love them all very much. Am sorry for all the pain and disappointment I have caused in these 35, my teething years.

I now vow to be on top of my game every single day and answer the riddle that is life before too long.

Hari Om Tat Sat
J Shasa Shivram

PS: Venka, I told you I’d get there first 😉

I dedicate this letter “Gene” to Gene Roddenberry who taught us how to dream and then realise our dreams.

Body, Mind and Feel

The comfort for the body is a Peaceful Mind.

Mind is peaceful when it stays connected with the INSPIRING FEEL of the Soul.

Our ‘Peaceful FEEL of the Soul is hijacked.

1. When we follow crowd or rush where there is a queue.

2. When we borrow for pleasures of today to repay with pain.

3. When we grieve, worry, fear, get angered or stressed.

4. When we experience ‘disgust in envy’, ‘restlessness in greed’ and ‘arrogance in pride’.

Let us therefore, learn to follow the INSPIRING FEEL (Soul) that guides the Mind to stay, or go where we can breathe free as ‘individuals’ and not suffocate as ‘personalities’ in crowd.

Let us not surrender to ‘impulse of provocations’ and barter our peace for temporary pleasures.

Let us pause and focus on the ‘Inspiring Feel’ when ‘provoked by envy’, ‘tempted by greed’ or ‘blinded with pride of identity’.

The ‘pause’ will prevent our Soul – FEEL from getting hijacked and keep us in peace and in one piece.

For greater clarity on this topic, connect with Saify Saraiya @ 9884087860

God or Godliness


Religion stopped making sense to me ever since I started reflecting and pondering on the purpose of religious rituals.

I am standing for prayers behind the priest but my mind is elsewhere. In a large group doing what is called “a congregational prayer”- standing, bending, sitting, prostrating as per the call in front, just like performing a military drill and I ponder, is prayer the thought in mind or movement of the body?

I had heard of obligatory pilgrimage. This too was a question in my mind, if God is the creator of the Universe and is Omniscient, Omnipotent, sees everything and is everywhere, how could some geographical location be stipulated as HOLY and the place crowded with people pushing each other be a Holy act?

To take up such a pilgrimage, substantial cost is involved and therefore one has to allocate a financial budget and save money. For a truly religious person, this may never be possible. Besides, in India and many other countries, there is a wide disparity between ‘Have’ and the ‘Have not’s. How can anyone ignore the needs of living humans and consider visiting a non-living structure or monument as divine?

During my reflective adolescent years, I use to share such predicament with religious elders and they seem to spontaneously agree that kind deeds are like performing the Pilgrimage itself.

Thus by questioning, the answers came and validated my stance.

The next thing that didn’t make sense was the “Fixed Time Prayers.” upon referring the Scripture, the message from its verses clearly implied being PRAYERFUL at all times. And to pray, one has to have the need and intention to pray. For a true believer, this would certainly be at all times for God is needed every moment and in every breath.

Upon regular reflection of the verses in the Holy Scripture, the crux of the message was to ponder on the purpose of Creation. And to realise this truth, one must FIRST LEARN TO REJECT THE FALSE.

An incident happened that led to clearly realise THE FALSE.

During January 2007, I was amidst close relative marriage function in Chennai. A seventeen years old shy girl from Gujarat was among the guests of this family. There was a sudden change in the behaviour of this girl in the middle of these functions. The teenager, who otherwise was very timid, became extremely aggressive, violent and started blabbering abusive nonsense.

As a close relative, I got involved in helping the family and referred the girl to a psychiatrist. In the process, out of curiosity, I

read a book on Abnormal Psychology, where this issue was termed ‘Schizophrenia’, – a psychotic disorder defined as “absence of reality in a UNCONSCIOUS state.”

The moment I pondered over this term, it dawned on me almost like a flash, yet another psychotic disorder! and this “disorder” has affected great many people of this world and is “the ORDER” in the society.

Yes, I am referring to RELIGION as a Psychotic Disorder for here people do things which are like ABSENCE OF REALITY IN A CONSCIOUS STATE – a mindless practice of rituals and traditions carried down from their ancestors.

Why is Religion Psychotic? Religion is psychotic, for instead of harmony, the difference in religious practices is promotes disharmony – dividing people and becoming the cause of killing and war.

An individual with a psychotic disorder is called schizophrenic, whereas a community of people with this mental disorder is called ‘Religion.’

Religion has come into existence by people who lack belief in God as an inseparable part of them.

The disbelief instilled fear and scarcity mentality in them, to hide which, they organized themselves with a boundary defined ‘Order’ to feel secure socially.

To hide hypocrisy and protect their falsehood, they also became intolerant to the needs and views of “others.” Religion is thus a MASK people wear for social security at a cost getting eluded (blindfolded) from experiencing spiritual security.

Spirituality is to be one with the Creator, and see all creation as a wonder. Spirituality produce do good feeling for all – sharing and expending oneself in service of others.

These realization began my Spiritual Growth; I withdrew from the ‘masked, inauthentic, blindfolded mass’ and became an individual, living life ‘actually’ instead of ‘ritually’ and became rational instead of ‘traditional.’

I realised what inspired me to ponder, reflect and think is within me and governing me. God is not separate from me and thereby searching for God replaced the feeling of the Godliness within.

This existence we are experiencing is because of the breath of life force infused in us. We breathe; feel hunger, thirst and the need to rest by the design and Will of God.

We are integrated phenomena of creation. “I am part of a whole” – I make choices to stay peaceful while experiencing the journey of life and behaving as per passion inspired in me.

When l know what my mind choses to perceive gets manifested, the fear of scarcity is no longer there – for I attract what I need or want.

Life is all about learning and evolving rather than earning and hoarding.

Through pondering, my perception of “who I am” changed.

I realised, I am a spiritual growing organism experiencing a human existence.

In shape and form, I am identified differently as I progress through life. I am called a ‘baby, a child, a teenager and an adult.’

Before being a ‘baby,’ I am housed in an extension of me called a ‘woman,’ and before that, a part of me was in a ‘man.’ Separated, I get a different identity.

I have no control over me; I need to breathe and survive. And therefore I am relentlessly seeking to consume what I see around as food and water.

I see others like me breathing and seeking food and water to survive.

Each has a Mind to distinguish between Right and Wrong and an Independent Free Will to choose.

Through choice, some remain as an ‘Individual’ drawing energy from the Source (the spiritual feel within). Some reject and believe in ‘what one sees outside as matter.’

Those who reject the ‘feel within,’ adopt ‘roles’ to get and manage their needs.

Such form groups to become enemy of each other.

They divide and bound themselves as religions, nations, rules, policies, rituals and systems to ultimately self destroy.

And yet individually in each, there is a heart that seeks to integrate with the other.

In each there’s a sense that seeks beauty in the surroundings.

Each in a body form is a physical manifestation of life force that seeks to multiply itself – the male part seeking to join with female part.

Each is me in different reflections, ‘me’ coming back to me. My own choice is creating me and is experiencing the human existence.

In conclusion, it is my choice to stay inspired as an individual ‘adhering to feel within’ that elevates me in Wellness and Wisdom leading me to an ever evolving destiny of the universal force called Creator.

Nobility Enriches The Soul

“Nobility Enriches The Soul”

Each night, when the family retires to sleep, It is usual for me to just get couple of hours sleep and wake-up midway during the night.
This has been the daily routine. In the stillness of the night, I pass my wakefulness sometimes browsing the net and sometimes getting inspired to ponder, reflect and contemplate on right-wrong, good-bad, appropriate – inappropriate in life.
One such night, I experienced a strange chest pain, while pondering continued, the pain seem to worsen – such as if the heart is giving way and will stop functioning.

So that was it! – It seemed as if the life is going to end, and “the Soul” would part from the body.

Feeling the pain, the mind sought an answer: “As a soul, what will I carry with me after I leave the body?”

Suddenly words as thoughts, flashed in my mind, “nobility enriches the soul”, the words enthralled me. It seemed like an enlightenment. Noble acts of my family in my lifetime flashed and explained many things as purpose in life and also as purpose of life.
Felt I should record the realisation by writing it down, but paining chest disabled me from writing. The pain seemed like an alarm that the soul would leave anytime and the heart would stop functioning.

Walking seemed to give relief. I continued to walk up and down.

The light in my daughter’s room was on. It occurred to me, since I am unable to write, why not share this inspiration to my daughter so that she can share ‘my last words’ that summarised what the Soul will carry from life.

Entering her room, I spoke, “Sakina, may I share something different with you? Would you listen?
Getting her nod, I began, as if, dictating my last words to record them in her mind so that she can share it with other’s when I would be ‘no more’ the next day.

Having poured the flowing thoughts with instances that flashed my mind, I returned to my room and prayed to Allah, “you flashed in my mind an interesting point on purpose of life, why not I continue to live and share this message with people?
The heart pain stopped. I continued to stay awake till the break of the dawn.

(This incident happened around mid of Dec. 2017.

Peace NOT War


Divisive and destructive thoughts in the Mind leads to Disease in Body, epidemic in the society and thus affects the sanctity of the Nation.”

A disputing divisive mind-set is a disease producing body and a hating mind-set is a self destructive cancer-inviting body.

Integrating Mind brings ease to the body allowing internal organs to function smoothly and to stay in perfect shape as a step towards an upgraded existence in the next Life.

Government that unite mankind by decisions that are kind to man are evidenced by peaceful progress their nation is making.

Oppressive governments polarizes citizens with “divide and rule” policy, pitting one against ‘the other’ and instigating fear and hatred in the name of caste and cultural difference. Their strategy is to subdue free choice, control and expand their support base. Such government and their blind active and the passive supporters ultimately lead their nations to ruin.

Let us be aware who we are choosing to head our beloved nation.

Let us vote for the government that talks of peace not war, a government that unites and integrates citizens, a government that promotes harmony, unity and equitable growth of all sections of civic society.

Yes, let our vote be for the government that is non divisive, treats all citizens equally and thus ensures well-being, harmony and abundance in the nation.

Share if you agree –


“Hindu Rashtra”

Politics of “Religious” Polarisation has led to a view in People’s mind that there should be a separate “Hindu Rashtra”.

“When there can be Islamic and Christian countries, why not a “Hindu” Rashtra..? How erroneous is such an idea, can be realised by the following elaboration:
We know that, Hinduism isn’t a Religion in the first place. The word ‘HINDU’ implies people of ‘INDUS’ and is coined by the ‘Persians’ pointing to the Land abutting river ‘Indus’.

The Truth, not Religion, followed from Vedas is ‘Sanatan Dharma’ which means “Ever Existing Dharma” – This may however not be what we see being practiced by the people of ‘Indus’ called ‘Hindus’.

The Truth to All, not separate religions originated from ‘ever existing’ – “Sanatan” Dharma.
‘Sanatan Dharma’ therefore belongs to the entire Humanity to understand and revere the eternal truth. NO GROUP CAN CLAIM IT’S OWNERSHIP.

‘Sanatan Dharma’ does not divide humanity. The Upanishads sees the entire humanity as “VASUDHAIVA KUTUMBAKKAM” implying ‘whole world humanity as ONE Family’.

As humans, we aught to grow beyond divisive concept of ‘Religions’ to embrace the eternal truth the Creator endowed us with.

Arabic word ISLAM implies then same eternal truth send down to people speaking Arabic and not as a separate religion to the geographical community of Arabs.

Thus, the ‘Vedas’ came to different people in their respective regional language. For Arabs, the Vedas came as ‘Quran’, for Christians, it came as ‘Bible’, for Jews, as ‘Torah’. – ‘The Creator never fails to send down Guidance to Mankind’.

ISLAM is not founded by Prophet Mohammed. As a seeker of truth, Mohammed led himself to discover what was already there from before.

The word ‘Islam’ means ‘Submission to Peace’ and ‘Muslims’ means, those on the path of Peace. So truly, anyone who submits to the path of Peace is ‘to be a Muslim’.


If we patiently study each scripture, we will find in all, same message of ‘Universal Compassion’.

This is the truth. Creator is ONE. We are Children of Same Eternal God – the Guide and Protector of entire Creation.

It is those who form ‘Groups’ and find ‘comfort’ in it, create ‘Religions’ for Social Security, They are the Rejecters of the ‘Truth’ (Dharma).Their Pride makes them reject. As Rejecters, they harbour fear, hatred, and envy for “the other”. They refuse to recognise the sameness in those outside their ‘group’ (Religion).

“They worship their own created God and not the God that created them”.

By rejecting True God, they are cursed to bring self destruction and become “dumb, deaf and blind” to the truth and harm their own existence in This, and the Next world.

Those who read this, think and ponder, will most certainly chose to agree, for Truth resides in every heart as it’s own proof.


Dear Fellow Human

link: Update from Simon Anholt / Madedline Hung of the Good Country, Jul 12th

We’ve lived with hangovers of the dark ages for long enough. Every decade since the worldwide revolution of the 60s has shown us increase in our ability to love, think of, and act selflessly for one another.

Time to up the ante and truly become ONE WORLD. Harmonize the conflicts. Soothe the hurts. Grow in oneness and come always from a direction of caring.

How we long to be our brother’s keeper. And to keep our sisters happy. But we’re going to need some help coming together if we’re going to make the world work. Many of us have longed for it. Some even striven for it.

Enter my friend Simon and this virtual country he is proposing. 200000 citizens for a start from all parts of the world. Speaking different languages, practising different faiths, all unique expressions of the highest beauty nature and evolution have to offer.

True believers in the power of an idea to change the world. We are after all the architects of our future lives and of this Earth’s destiny…

“We would not think of battle that reduces us to sub-humans. So easy to begin but then impossible to end”. ~ Uriah Heep

None can stop the march of evolution. And as Eru says: “nor can any alter the music in my despite. For he that attempteth this shall prove but mine instrument in the devising of things more wonderful, which he himself hath not imagined.” ~ Tolkien

George Carlin talks of the divine plan too and remember that we are heading back to regaining a glorious past. A golden age. The final establishment of a Kingdom of Heaven when we will realise and attune ourselves fully to our divine origins.

It falls on us blessed with faith and abundance to help pave this way forward. Become the forerunners of all our future selves. Healers, Thinkers, Artists, Builders, Labourers, Teachers, Parents, Statesmen ad infinitum.

There is much beauty in this world and healing in the depths of time.

Time to turn that page, let go of that hurt, rise up and make our creator proud as we go back to our illimitable origins.

Regaining Faith

In the old world, husbands and wives clung to each other. They knew how tough it was to build a marriage, so would do almost anything to keep it together. So if you are mutually unhappy, maybe it’s not your marriage that’s broken but your relationship with your own selves.

And reflecting that base irreconcilability within you is a less than passable relationship with everyone else.

If everything were fine, we wouldn’t let disconnect and doubt sow her seeds. Mostly self doubt.

The problems of marriage are seemingly many but at the kernel of them is a lack of communication. We need to go to the roots of the problem. That is not always easy and some would say not worth the effort.

While some would say when kids are involved it’s better to have a clean break than let the kid grow up watching an unsuccessful marriage take it’s toll on both parents, this writer begs to differ. Define a perfect marriage or show me one where there isn’t give and take.

In cases where there is a monster possessing one party and the other is too weak, frail or timid to drive it away I would say ok part ways.

And to those that didn’t look deep enough before leaping I may say did you “try and get the feeling again”? Forget the past and all it didn’t bring.

All it needs is two pliable souls… then ask yourself how pliable you are and who is willing to go further to get back together again. And by together I mean the “happily ever after” kind not “we barely talk but atleast live in the same house”…

So, she cheated on you… twice… just when you were recovering from that bout of depression. Or he couldn’t care tuppence when you lost your 12 year old cat – Tom. Or she beat you on the head because she was having a meltdown and no one including her realized she needed serious help.

Was it love or was it the idea of being in love? What got us started on this road? How well did we know ourselves, our feelings and our desires? Do we as yet?

Just as in life, in relationships we must embrace change. Build love on a base of constancy but be ready to adapt. Fail to and one day you will wonder what just hit you. We grow older and more bone weary – some couples are fortunate to find new love as life wears on, but everyone has too work at it.

So keep working on who you are, reflect on what drives you and on what makes you tick. Then think of family or an uncle who is no more and somewhere in the midst of it all perhaps you will regain you faith and decide to stay on and fix things. Whatever your choice I hope it’s one you can live with and that it’s founded in love