Essays to a Swan

Musings

Musings Interrupted, Shasa, Jul 22, 2013

Why madness? Because the thoughts are too loud. The thoughts and the worries. Their incessant gnawing at the foundation of our faith and hope and dream.

Misplaced energy on transient things. How can I judge what is transient or unreal and speak of inclusion? I am not qualified to say this is the way, but isn’t there something missing? Some higher purpose? To delve within ourselves and find a bedrock of faith and positivity and on it to build a fount of dynamism. And to expel our fears and frivolities.

When O lord shall the writing come to me as it came to Goldberg^1. Or did Pullman^2 make that up? Is there no writer so prolific? Or do you need to tap into the right source like Budgeron^3 did?

Why should talk of edifices and monuments in the other world^4 make it seem to materialistic? Building is a noble profession.

If Niggles parish^5 is for eternity, where does one find such a labour of love on this Earth? Or is that where I am headed on this beautiful day?

To meet my preceptor. Or rather, if he is always in my heart, to visit the place he consecrated with his work. His work! A simple guide to life and living, with some very astute, intuitive and practical comments on the lay of the land in which we dwell. Its beauty, its hidden ways, its dangers, the nature of the traveller, his needs and desires and how he and the land both need to change to fully embrace one another.

Am I talking of Sri Aurobindo’s work? And his legacy for us? Indeed! A desire to be with him in spirit, burning perhaps not like a flame for the moth^6, but still aware of the simile and trying to learn to burn.

Was Taminder Ferret’s note^7 not an open invitation to all would be builders? And in Niggles transformation is there not hope for the inevitability of the power of expression for the painstaking learner?

Is something to the point important, or being able to take the reader or listener with you and live the experience important? Where does the diary end and the story begin? If Tolkien took 2 bestsellers to master the art of subtlety^8, then shouldn’t I be less harsh on myself?

If conviction on the outcome is of paramount importance, why balk at the meager fruits of a journey more thought of than actually trod?

I guess self forgiveness is the key to progression. How different is the actor from the storyteller? Are they not two expressions of the same sanction^9? Caretakers of the ideas that existed in the moment the cosmos came to be^10. Ideas that had to wait for that moment in man’s growth when he was ripe to hear them. Then to come to their full flowering in his [man’s] application of them.

I’m on the outside^11 looking inside, what do I see? Much expression, no introduction to music gone past. Such expression, much expansion that words could not bear. No talk to the wind, only words in despair. No upliftment, only estrangement that upset my mind.

Footnotes:
1 – Character from Tiger in the Well
2 – Philip Pullman – Author of Tiger in the Well
3 – Writer from Richard Bach’s Curious Lives (Ferret Chronicles)
4 – Beyond Life – Bo Yin Ra
5 – Leaf by Niggle – JRR Tolkien
6 – Aghora at the left hand of God – Robert E Svoboda
7 – Monty, Curious Lives – Richard Bach
8 – In the Land of Heroes – Anne C Petty’s book on JRR Tolkiens writing
9 – Sanction – Purusha & Prakriti
10 – Out of my mind – Richard Bach
11 – verse written to the tune of I talk to the wind – King Crimson