George Carlin

quote: George Carlin
youtube: YieldMore George Carlin Playlist

I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke-free. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist. Politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect.
Modern Man

I hope were interfered with again by the extraterrestrials and this time they help… I hope they say were going to do another genetic thing to you humans just like we did when we we taught you architecture…when suddenly you could lift stones up and build the pyramids…when suddenly you had mathematics and many other things…were going to do that again and this time were gonna help you folks…I hope that happens because then all those dreams that I dont quite have for humanity would come true, and that would be the best surprise that I could get.
Alien Interference

1) Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie.
2) Thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone, unless of course they pray to a different invisible man than you.
3) Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.
The Ten Commandments

I became a sun-worshipper. Several reasons. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Unlike some other gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. I’m big on that. If I can see something, I don’t know, it kind of helps the credibility along, you know? So everyday I can see the sun, as it gives me everything I need; heat, light, food, flowers in the park, reflections on the lake, an occasional skin cancer, but hey. At least there are no crucifixions, and we’re not setting people on fire simply because they don’t agree with us.
Sun Worship

I don’t understand why prostitution is illegal. Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn’t selling fucking legal? You know, why should it be illegal to sell something that’s perfectly legal to give away? I can’t follow the logic on that one at all! Of all the things you can do, giving someone an orgasm is hardly the worst thing in the world. In the army they give you a medal for spraying napalm on people! In civilian life you go to jail for giving someone an orgasm! Maybe I’m not supposed to understand it…