Hi. My name is Chris and I am a writer and a highly emotionally intelligent empath. I have always been extremely sensitive, to the point that I can look a stranger in the eyes and know about their life. I have met strangers and asked them if I could tell them about their life and themselves and they tell me if I was wrong and I have been so accurate about their growing up, how their parents treated them, etc. That they called me a witch.
I grew up with a lot of neglect and physical and mental abuse. Black sheep treatment, social isolation, disrespect, misunderstood, judged, demotivation, disassociation from many aspects of my life, gossip, isolation in general, extreme depression, nervousness, sexist treatment, broken self-expression , extreme loneliness, anxiety and at times was suicidal. I moved around a lot and never had a truly stable or loving environment and at later times have experienced homelessness(Currently this is my situation). I was never comfortable being my true self, because of how people treated me.
I suffered for thirty years in a life overwhelmed with all of these things and it has been detrimental. The thing that I suffered from and that caused the most damage to every aspect of my life, was the mental and emotional problems I was suffering from. I ended up developing fibromyalgia at some point, because it got so bad. I hated my life. I wished I'd never been born. I didn't want to die. I just wished I had never existed.
When I was 26, I had a very scary experience with anti-depressants. In a feeling that I can explain, but would take too many words to do so here. It stripped away all emotion, for anything. Only my intellectual knowledge that I SHOULD be scared that my emotions just disappeared, helped me plant myself on the couch until the depression medicine wore off.
At that point I decided I'd never take medicine again, because I'd already never been comfortable with synthetic meds to begin with. I was determined to overcome my problems on my own(although I have had some natural assistance). I had a first time experience with two hallucinogens, where I chose to meditate and try to learn to help myself and those two experiences cured my severe suicidal depression and also broadened my perspective on life and the meaning of it.
I was 30 years old when I had those experiences. I am 33 now. I have not suffered from depression (except for normal person depression which hasn't been for more than a day) for the past 3 years. I've had a lot of self-improvements, the most helpful have been my emotional stability and ability to think more clearly, which is helping me work on other areas of my life.
My biggest passion in life for my profession and purpose has always been to help others emotionally. From the time I was 10 I began thinking to myself "I never want anyone to feel this way". So for the longest time, it has been my secret passion, to find lone strangers on my travels, as I move between living spaces and help people I find, who need someone to talk to, or who I can see they are hurting. Nothing in life makes me feel better about myself than to know I've given someone, what I consider, to be the greatest form of love. Emotional healing.
That being said, I can not be satisfied with where I am in life. I need an outlet, where people can hear these words and begin to heal their own pain. I need to know that my life is being used to the most potential it can be and I've resolved myself to the fact that I've always been meant to suffer, because my purpose can't be served if I don't feel these things to understand and learn from them myself. Nothing else in my life has ever made sense than this.
So now that all of you know me and what I'm about, I hope that we can all work together, to try and make the world a better place.